Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
She needs sedatives and a leash
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
