i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
