She is in my trunk
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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