We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
