Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Randomize
