I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
