Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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