is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You work out of a Hotel?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
