he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
