I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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