omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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