I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
