TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
