i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
