If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize