I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
