first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
