I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I will pee on everything he values.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
