Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize