Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
