shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
