Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
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