You work out of a Hotel?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize