apparently the secret to your success is patron
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize