Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
