That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
