watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Let's get the cat blown out
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
