It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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