dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
