I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
