ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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