Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
