Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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