problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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