What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
