theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
