She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
