Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
