Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
