And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
