Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
