Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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