I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
