If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize