Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
