it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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