Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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