Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
It was confusing and full of hummus
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
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