Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
