he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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