question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Reggie can tackle my bush.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
