I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
