ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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