sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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