Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
