she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
