when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
