She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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