life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
