Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
whose ass print is on the piano?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
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