I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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