Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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