my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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