Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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