Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
