I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
