Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
It's just like the Real World with babies
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
