I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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