Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
