There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
