apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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