Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
